Tag: longing

Four Walls

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Fill my cup with the strongest of drinks, make me feel less lonely.

These four walls tighten around my neck but they can’t really hold me.

Let my fantasy run miles, please don’t let it grow too phony.

When it’s too tired to carry on, I’ll live on pain and no sleep. You know me.

Paint my wrists in the brightest colors, cover all the mistakes.

I can’t erase what has been done, I can’t process my past in hot takes.

Slice my arguments ever so gently – the slower you go, the better it tastes.

Cut right through my throat when you get the chance. Don’t hit the brakes.

Never hit the brakes.

Take all my lies and run with them, pretend I’m not bluffing.

It might feel wrong but by now you must be used to handcuffing.

Breathe my deadly fumes in deeply, reduce your life to nothing.

These four walls tighten around my neck, yet it’s the reality that keeps cutting.

Please… keep me company while the gates are shutting.

-JW

Haunting

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I want to see the world light up and dance with the apocalypse,

I want to embrace letting my life go and die with you.

Jump with you into the abyss.

I’ll never fully own you and, for what it’s worth, I’m glad I won’t.

I’d rather see you in safe distance than in my fever dreams,

Daunting on every living creature I haunt.

But honestly, I’m ready to go if it means you’re right there,

Our palms touching, ground trembling with fear and excitement.

Pain is numbing, bruises – extremely severe.

Every building that goes down around us is another hope to survive.

I might feel like I’m dancing with apocalypse on my own

But as long as you’re alive, I’m not running out of time.

–JW

Parched

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Photo by Daniel Frank from Pexels

Do you know how hard I’m trying to write this when I’m incapable of muttering a single sentence?

Do you ever just wonder why I keep scribbling nonsense each day as if I’m bringing myself the vengeance?

Have you ever been left alone with your thoughts for a moment too long, and the clarity gets as sharp as a sword?

Have you… This one’s too personal but I’ll ask anyway if you give me your word.

…promise?

Have you missed somebody with the force of a hundred waterfalls crashing down without compassion?

No, no… But have you missed someone more than any relative, any friend? As if their love was just a fraction,

A drop in the ocean compared to how parched your throat has been lately. It’s a desert.

I’m trapped in it – and nothing worldly that can be offered will make my poisoned mind avert.

Luckily, nothing lays seeds in my heart. Nothing grows in sinking sand. No saviors left in sight.

Only drought and unrequited lovers left alive. No one sleeps in this land as the nights are also snow white.

Have you missed somebody like this or am I hallucinating out of the malice?

If this is the Wonderland they promised, please do me a favor

And never wake Alice.

-JW

Airplanes and Neon Lights

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Photo by Hasan Albari from Pexels

I look outside my window each night and see airplanes landing over your house,

Their lights blending with the night sky. I am standing by the frame like a loyal spouse –

Protecting your gravities, stopping engines from failing at my own expense.

This sunken faith of mine has never touched the deep end. It is losing oxygen and common sense.

However, it hurts stunningly. The view is too precious to go into it blind –

And the neon lights across the street remind me of your gleeful eyes meeting mine.

Sometimes I stargaze a bit too far – so I fall, forgetting that you are out of reach.

How easy it is to overlook the distance when your instincts are soaked in bleach.

I know it is hard for you to maintain the illusion that your blinds are shut on these nights

But it is not my imagination making up the fact that you have not slept as you are picking fights

With the only good thing you had in your life. But is it my fault? Not shutting the curtains

When you so desperately needed the spark? Do not lie if you are uncertain.

You need me to be by the window, and you do not want to wait for it anymore.

I guess the first time that I touched you, it was clear – you do not mind some glory or gore

If it means holding my palm in your hitched hand for a bit longer.

At moments like this I wish I could be a complete loner.

But I cannot be – so I throw my pride against the foggy glass

Hoping it breaks your chains, at last.

-JW