Tag: Candy’s diaries

Two Empty Hearses

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Nobody dared to save my life that silky moonlit night.

No one cared to check for a pulse, no medics in sight.

The body next to mine is bleeding out just as fast as me

And I would do anything to stop the pain

But we’re trapped in this fantasy.

Nobody saw when we ran out of oxygen and body heat,

No one told us to wait or to run, no one told us to bleed.

I hold the love of my life in my weak and bruised arms

And I would to anything to treat the pain

But we promised to do no harm.

Nobody noticed when we painted the sidewalk karmin red.

No one prayed where we trembled, where we sacrificed and bled.

They buried two empty hearses with a hundred made up hymns.

And I would to anything to ease your pain

But my tears can’t heal your broken limbs.

-JW

Down The Rabbit Hole

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The trajectory of our fall changed right in front of my eyes.

I tried to grasp the passing meadows and fields

But no surprise

We were out of blessing and shields.

The moon lays heavy on our chests and we fear the dark.

Our bags are dragging our souls to the ground,

Leaving a mark,

Letting the predators know we can be found.

The surfaces below are muddled, they’re awfully senseless.

Nothing to soften the inevitable collision.

Our eyes are defenceless.

They take in the blur, confuse it for a vision.

-JW

Arms Of The Sea

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Dear, come out of the shade, step into the burning limelight.

Don’t linger there promising me paradise, come take a bite.

You’ve been chasing normalcy too long to recall the special,

The extraordinary and the empathetic,

The way we used to revel.

No matter how many throw their eyeballs at us, we persevere,

We rush towards a steep cliff, it’s much closer than it appears.

You’ve been hiding honesty so deep a razor won’t really do

But if you hold on for a moment more

I’ll paint the red sky blue.

Climb with me through the rugged hills, chase me along the way.

Your two feet are struggling to follow me another tiresome day.

The arms of the sea are willing to receive us, aren’t we ready?

Dear, take a step forward, don’t stay still

When the world feels heavy.

-JW

The Others

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You creep up one me from the hills,

Stalk me through the keyhole,

You steal all of my pills.

I can’t hide that you’re making me ill.

No loopholes in your intentions.

I’m standing perfectly still.

You sneak up on me through drains,

Grab my hands and kiss them

Leaving slimy prints and stains.

You call me your own dame.

But chivalry’s dead so back off.

I’m not the one to tame.

You pull my clothes, you shriek.

The air you breathe smells like sulfur.

My perfume is making you weak.

Don’t you follow, don’t you act meek.

Don’t creep up on me from the hills.

Please don’t waste your wishes

As I’m reaching the peak.

-JW

Looking For Exile

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A delay in my response, my brain’s on a break.

I pause all the sound, we’ve done take after take

Of this never-ending story.

And I’m tired to the bone, I can’t fake the laughs.

I’ve written three thousand broken paragraphs

About this love I hold before me.

When I see you, my forth wall turns into dust,

My head buzzes in neon from dawn until dusk –

And I am hardly sorry.

But the cameras are rolling, the crowd is electric.

The tension in your chest evaporates as I whisper

“The others also bore me.”

A delay in my response, my brain’s on a rise.

I pause all the sound. There’s only your eyes

Dictating this never-ending story.

-JW

Burn My Prayers

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I’m so worried I can’t fall asleep, mind’s still scrambling through the shame.

Our house is slipping under ground, crushing those who spoke the name.

I’m too afraid once we collide, we’ll walk the line like a hurricane,

We’ll spin the necks and move the concrete, we’ll rein through heat and acid rain.

The books I read are burnt in places, it’s funny how mind lets things slide,

How I’d root for you through murder trials, even if it’s me who died.

And confessions never come that easy, I guess pretend is a parasite.

I’m so worried your face will be the last thing I see

Before my long gone form is washed away by a mourning tide.

-JW

November

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You took my secrets against my best wishes,

You took them down the drain with you

Mixing my soul with dirty dishes.

I tied up the red flags, collected them all –

What a lovely sight, isn’t it?

Watching them finally fall.

You made a joke out of my darkest times

But I could never joke about you

Or your petty crimes.

And I tried torturing you the same but you yelled,

You claimed that you’re in pain

When it was my neck you held.

The cigarette smoke dissolves over your pity

As you take one last cynical look

At me leaving this sunken city.

-JW

August

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Your breath smells like salty sea, your skin – like cotton candy.

I took another lover before you cried over your first brandy.

A glass of liquor won’t seal the envelope filled with poor choices

And magic tingles my bones when you think you know

Where your voice is.

Your nose is filled with dust, your hair – entangled with seaweed.

I loved another man before you managed a single misdeed.

But that’s what you’re good at, being an act that no one defies,

Yet – we weren’t even done with our first kiss that night

When I wrote our goodbyes.

Your chin is split wide open, your ears are bleeding in waves.

I’m only imagining what it would feel to re-dig my graves.

But I hope that you’re sleeping tight and not overthinking.

Almost eight years have passed and I still can’t face it

Without crashing and sinking.

-JW

June

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In the palest spring sunsets you made into your own.

I was slowly shifting, accepting your debts and loans.

The faster time passed us, the more I trembled.

The weakness I felt took me back to the dark,

To the last December.

You told me I’m the one, yet – I was never someone,

Like an accessory you flashed me back at the sun.

Memory is a fragile thing, it gets lost and misguided.

Your screams became dents in my tender skull

But I tried to hide it.

And the summer came, sun still set over the sea

Where I promised I’d stay if you weren’t hurting me.

The time slowed down, it left my mind rushing.

It ran faster than my tears on the silver screen.

As I watched the sun rusting.

-JW

April

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The air sticks its hand out to grab both my lungs

But I flinch and hide them in meadows and trunks.

The petals surround me in a warm moon ritual

Yet I put my head down, escaping the ethereal.

Heaven’s gate in front of me but I can’t reach it.

My fantasy runs circles, please don’t you feed it.

Cherry blossoms form a swarm of soft dewy rays.

I look down and close my eyes through the haze.

My palms lift towards the unforgiving blues,

I hold my weapons near, trigger finger on the fuse.

Leaves shuffle all around, the scent lifts up my feet.

I collapse over the branches accepting the defeat.

-JW