Category: Other

Intrusive Thoughts

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My head creaks like the stairs of a haunted mansion.

It’s always my fault when I crumble,

It’s my fault if I call out the pretention.

The mind is a revolving door, it turns in twisted circles.

My nausea is building quickly

As the world illuminates like a circus.

And the tension in my neck is crawling up the spine.

Why do I suffer for their naive mistakes

If I can suffer for mine?

I wait patiently but I bet they won’t tell me what’s wrong.

The pain spreads in seven dimensions,

But they beg me to hold on.

My skin turns ghostly, and my eyes roll back into my skull.

One last heartbeat, one more breath,

And all goes dull.

-JW

My Hourglass

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The time runs by,

And I can hear myself ticking.

It is this broken clock within,

It is this faded clipping

That tells me smudged lies

And calls peace a compromise.

But I am running low in ink,

Graphite will not suffice.

Minutes pass in a blink.

I am losing the disguise,

Crouched over the kitchen sink,

Pulling out my own eyes.

And the time runs by,

I can hear myself clicking.

My hourglass cracks into two,

My memories start slipping.

-JW

Burnout

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The kitchen sink is leaking for the third day in a row.

I keep re-watching the tragedy unfold,

Sitting in the first row.

My bedsheets trap me in chain-like embrace.

I cannot leave, no.

The night has lost its honest face.

There is no one to call, no one to answer the cries.

Reality seems so fragile,

It is only hardened by lies.

And the windowsill speaks my mother tongue.

What a shame – burning so bright

To burn out so young.

-JW

Choking Hazard

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The green eye watching me through the keyhole blinks once an hour.

Its fluorescent pink lashes snow ominous, breathtaking flour.

My apartment turns into a choking hazard, but I don’t mind it.

The gaze takes over my loose limbs and I refuse to fight it.

I don’t know where to look, I can’t find a way to pretend any longer.

The grip I have on my thick wool blanket grows stronger and stronger. 

And the green eye pushes through the cracks in my dark windows.

It leaks on every surface; it goes wherever the nightly tide flows –

Until I can barely lift my lids as it elegantly floats closer and closer. 

My worst sleep demons are the greatest fear composers.

I scream for help, I even plead with the gods and their entourage,

But the emerald glow mutes the sound

As they turn my soul into a green collage.

-JW

Safer

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Being safe in your own mind for the first time is an unsung feeling.

No buzz, no synthetic static,

No yellow brick road and no ceiling.

The rays hug my shoulders with their golden promise and peace.

And the silver bullets I carry soften

As I fall to my knees.

My scalp shrivels once the pressure shoots out of my crooked spine.

The anger detonates within,

My pride gains an appetite.

The unforgiving lust for darkness gets lost under the summer sun,

And the search for the end stops

As I lower my guns.

-JW

Velvet Casket

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You slapped a tax on our love

And sold them the copyrights,

Wrote off my voice as I was watching front row.

You erased all the fights,

Renamed them after your pride.

Just another scalpel you hide

While I peel off my own skin at night.

And you tried convincing me that I couldn’t have it any better

As they unpacked the cameras

Along with the heads they had severed.

They scream, they leak red,

And you call it amorous.

But I learned long ago that each bruise on my ribs is a blessing

Dressed as a velvet casket.

You taste like venom mixed into the salad dressing.

You don’t even mask it,

Just smirk and start confessing.

And you sign off on our love with mahogany ink,

Giving away my name to the gloom,

Letting me sink, sink, sink…

Until I give up my right to bloom.

But don’t worry, dear,

I’ll be back by the next Blood Moon.

-JW

The Thirst

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My face grows paler each coming day –

But the bright crimson on my lips remains.

And the bite marks bloom like spring flowers

As you leave me alone in the dark for hours.

No, I do not mind it, leave as you please,

Lock me in your tower ‘til the next Christmas eve.

My skin will grow snowy, my muscles – weak.

My voice will forget which words I can speak.

But the bright crimson on my lips will stay,

Hiding from sunrises and their audacious ways.

And you will come home to see me once more,

Hopeless and fearful, still lacking a cure.

The memories will lose their charming taste,

You will think of death when seeing my face.

But the blood will not stain

As long as you stay.

As long as you carry the thirst too,

You will bow before my pain.

-JW

Scarlet Smoke

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Your guilt trips over my thighs,

It covers you in modesty.

You cannot avert your eyes,

I cannot promise you honesty.

The red plays with my hair,

It curls it like summer heat.

With each moment we share

You clung tighter to your seat.

The guilt wraps your elbows

And ties them together.

I pluck petals from a white rose,

I mix them with feathers.

Your knees get trapped too

As you admire the scents.

My lips stain like a tattoo

And they burn like pure hell.

The guilt serves as your necktie

But you do not seek freedom.

Your instincts stay on standby.

Yet – you have no plans to free them.

The scarlet smoke surrounds us,

Your lungs struggle to breathe.

Your screams sound boundless

As your pupils drift off to sleep.

-JW

Red Eyes

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Raindrops dance on my window,

It’s been a while since the heaven wept.

I sink in memories until I’m numb,

I can’t recall the last time I slept.

My mind counts the first morning birds,

It follows each voice I hear nearby.

The bed holds me tight like a hearse,

And life plays as my final lullaby.

They don’t seem to notice the red

Although it’s leaking from my eyes.

I survive on plain water and bread,

The previous night fades into lies.

But the thought of darkness traps me,

The evening terrifies me to death.

If I don’t open my lids, just slap me,

Let me cry until I lose my breath.

Don’t let me sleep, don’t let it slip,

Let me hold onto the red a little longer.

Raindrops knock on my windowsill

And I know that I’m a goner.

-JW

So Long

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It took some time to pull myself out of the deep end.

They told me, “Go swim with the sharks,

But don’t make them your friends.”

So when I got scared of the dark,

I never killed the lights to please them.

It took some time to pull myself out of the deep end.

Years passed me by but the water stayed in my lungs.

Some blamed my red temper,

Some called me too goddamn young.

They failed me as mentors,

Yet, somehow, the culprit’s my tongue.

Years passed me by but the water stayed in my lungs.

I let my senses lead me until I ended up where I belong.

They sent dogs after my scent

But always seemed to get it wrong.

The trail ran cold wherever they went

Until they whispered, “So long.”

I let my senses lead me until I ended up where I belong.

-JW